Spring Fever

Hello all!
Following is an important article describing the common ailment known as Spring Fever, its symptoms, treatment, etc. (I may add some pictures in eventually but I can't find my camera)

(Note: If you haven't much of an appetite for a page or two of yammering, you can wait until I post something more worth your precious time, you stick in the mud.)

Spring fever, that miserable disease that plagues everyone living north of Oklahoma at some time or another, is upon us.
A simple description of the ailment is this:
Spring Fever (Not to be confused with Fruhjahrsmudigkeit or Spring tiredness), also known as Summer Fever, Cabin Fever, etc., is a non-contagious illness that can and will strike at every man, woman and child who ever lives through any sort of snow or cold weather. It is often considered a more common and less severe case of seasonal affective disorder (SAD)

Spring Fever season most often starts in mid-February and lasts until all or most local snow has melted and/or the first plants are beginning to green, and/or temperatures reach above 40* Fahrenheit or so.
In some cases, however, the disease can be experienced as early as the post-Holiday season or January; the fever season's beginnings are often synonymous with the length of time that temperatures have been below approximately 40* Fahrenheit or how long snow has been on the ground.
The disease affects mostly the soul, but also multiple areas of the body, namely the mind and heart.
Symptoms of this ailment are many, and include:

• An overwhelming sense of longing
• A heaviness of heart
• A general feeling of sluggishness
• Constant tiredness
• Fever dreams of trees, grass, flowers, barbecues, picnics, beaches, fairs, etc.
• Constant staring out of windows at the dead trees and/or the snow on the ground
• An even more than usual resistance to going out into the cold
• A strong desire to read gardening books, seed catalogs, or any literature of any kind that has anything to do with the warmer seasons
• Delusions of leaf-filled trees and grassy lawns when no leaves or grasses are present

Thankfully, there are nearly as many treatments available as there are symptoms. However, one must note that none of these treatments can fully cure the malady, only the successful removal of winter from the sufferer's abode will cure the disease.

The treatments include:

• Regular visits to greenhouses or conservatories
• Activities such as planting seeds or plants
• Activities such as preparing a spring countdown calendar and checking off each day
• Vacations to warmer places
• Consumption of such liquids as iced tea and lemonade
• Consumption of foods such as watermelon, ice cream, popsicles, etc.
• Consumption of literature such as seed catalogs, gardening books, or articles about spring, summer, or warmth in general
• The purchasing or owning of potted or cut flowers
• Activities in general, to keep one occupied and one's mind off of the three feet of snow and below freezing temperatures

Keeping a good mentality is key to recovery. Just remember, there's really no more than a bit over a month until the snow starts melting and spring returns.

If you have knowledge of symptoms or treatments not mentioned in this article, or notice any errors, please contribute by commenting below.

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Hope you enjoyed my little article! As a sufferer of Spring Fever I know how terrible of an illness it is, and so to cheer us both up I figured I'd write a bit of satire about it. Thanks for reading!

~Mary